Toothbrush tunes and …. an update

Toothbrush tunes:  “Put some music in your mouth!”

The selling point for this machine?  It helps parents get their kids to brush their teeth!

Have you seen the ads? They are everything a noise curmudgeon dislikes: cheap tinny sound, and the suggestion that we need NOISE/sound to distract us, to entertain us, to keep away the deep horror of silence.

They are selling a machine that drives sound through your teeth and into your jaw bone so it will resonate in your head. The better you brush, the better the sound. Yikes!!

And look at how they sell it – as a revolutionary uprising against “Big Brother” controlling  you as you brush your teeth in a monotonous, grey, depressing, oppressive world.

Spinbrush is the company making these.  It is owned by Arms and Hammer.  I guess they aren’t selling enough baking soda? So now they are selling these? (And of course they are marketing to dentists. See here for an ad/story geared to dentists and note how they suggest that only ‘moms’ oversee toothbrushing! How 1950s can you get, in 2012?) Click here to go to the dedicated website.  You can see a demo; you can see all the tune options.  (Yes, as far as I can tell, you only get ONE tune per toothbrush!  So, will your kid be bored by the song before the week is over? And be asking for another one? I wonder. )
Just think – no longer do you need to be alone when you brush your teeth!  No longer do you have to spend ALL that time on a boring task! NOW you can be entertained! More to the point, now your kid(s) can be entertained while you do ….?  What? Ignore them? Check your email one more time?

Maybe you could hang out with your kid(s) while they get ready for bed. Maybe talk to them; maybe sing a song for them. Maybe just sit quietly, watching them brush away at their little mouths and be amazed at how quickly they are growing up. Or teach them to brush mindfully – to give their full attention to the task at hand, for 2 whole minutes. Or teach them Latin, or Russian, or Chinese swear words, or …  ANYTHING but this, please!  (Or, if none of my suggestions appeal, maybe let them listen to music they select each time they brush. It doesn’t have to be pop/dance music. It could be Burundi drumming masters, or Ravi Shankar, or No Doubt, or Bob Marley, or Japanese shakuhachi music.)

Thus sprach the Noise Curmudgeon! Damn these toothbrushes!

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UPDATE: The case of the neighbours and the noise of basketball –  the Ontario government has turned down the woman’s request to the Ministry of Environment. Not sure where it will go next. You can read about it here.

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